Hey everyone. We all have bad weeks, right? This past ten days I could swear I did something to piss off karma, but that’s not my point.
I’ve touched on this before; you shouldn’t let life cut you down. But when you’re having a shitty week, it’s ok to bitch about it. Not constantly, though. Dwelling on it isn’t going to help, or is it?
I’ve found that sometimes, the horrible things people say can be great motivation to do better. Not because anything they say has merit; but for the simple fact of proving to yourself that you are worth more than what people say about you.
A nerdy fairytale story for you…
I’ve been called some seriously nasty things in my life. Growing up, being the only really smart kid in my large family of welfare hogs was utterly painful. There’s poor, and then there’s ‘even the other poor kids are making fun of us’ poor. Unlike some families, no, I didn’t have the benefit of loving parents. In reality, they hated me, because I wasn’t planned. I was not what they wanted. This wasn’t my fault, but that sure didn’t stop everyone from reminding me of it. From a young age, I knew that I was different to my family.Sadly, being different can elicit fear in others. For being smart and having a love of books, I was beaten up. I didn’t want to live on welfare like the rest of my family and pop out babies as soon as I could, to get more money. I wanted to work in something that would value people like me, and I wanted to get out of my very, very small town.
Fast forward through some painfully horrible years, and I was eventually made homeless at 17, by those that should have looked after me. This was when I hit rock bottom, mentally. I honestly did not care about my own life – I went out drinking a lot, hung out with people who led me into some horrible experiences I’d rather forget. I had thoroughly internalized every horrible thing that people said about me at that point, and believed it
too.I spent most of my time floating between being in some terribly boring jobs, and finally, just settled on being unemployed. I didn’t think I deserved much more.
But one day, the same as most days, I was playing World of Warcraft (This was in 2005, it was still fun!). I had better friends online than I did in real life; I liked hanging out with them better. Eventually through them, I met someone who changed me forever.
Yup, i’m going into the love story bit, and it’s all very nerdy, i’m sorry
In any case, I met him on Halloween 2005. I’d seen him before in guild chat and on raid; I thought he was funny and a bit weird. Too good for someone like me.We ended up turning each other into bats outside Orgrimmar bank. For reasons I forget, we ended up hanging out together a lot on guild events. Eventually, we just hung out by ourselves for quests. The entire guild ribbed us a lot about it, especially GM.“Why don’t you guys get married already?! LOL” – GM
But, being that I was in Australia, and he was in Canada, it seemed pretty hopeless. Who would wanna take a chance on someone like me?
But he did. I won’t go into details, but we figured out a way he could visit me. It was some of the best two weeks of my life, and at the end of it, I had more tears than I knew what to do with.
For the first time in my life, someone treated me like they loved me, and I was worth something to him. This was some sort of an epiphany for me, seriously. I had a reason to care what happened to me, because I cared about him, and he cared for me.
It’s not as simple as that though, and it did happen over a few months, this made me realise it. I was worth living for. After a few months, I decided to move to Canada to be with him forever.
So how does this tie back to love and hate? Well, in my humble opinion, you need both to know what the other is.
Being hated made me realise what real love was. It wasn’t lust, it wasn’t people that were always around me, or bloodlines.
It was the person that was there, when I needed it.
PS: Yes, we’re still together. Been married for 5 yrs, together since 2005. I live in Canada now, obviously